By Steve Moran
We live in a world where burning bridges has become fashionable. It feels lovely in the moment, because it feeds into one’s sense of self-righteousness. It feeds into what seems to be a new modality that it is cool to be the victim.
People fawn all over you, fill your cup with sympathy. Tell you how mistreated you are; how unfair the world is; how unfair the boss, your spouse, that political party is.
A Business Decision
Recently I made a business decision that caused a modest change in the circumstances of another individual. It was a decision I came to after thinking it through over a number of months and talking with a number of trusted advisors.
I was willing to go out of my way to help that person advance in other areas. I only wanted (and maybe even still want today) that person to have the very best life, the very best success in all that they do professionally and personally. I spent a lot of time thinking about the personal impact and how I might be able to minimize that impact by helping in other areas.
Burned Bridges
I had no idea the burn-the-bridge response I would get. Emails telling me how horrible a person I was, how unfair I was, how ungrateful I was. Then came the emails to all the other team members about how I had betrayed this person.
It was clear this person was hurting, felt terrible, and wanted to strike back.
While I never got direct feedback that this happened, I am sure this person went around telling other industry friends how terrible I was.
Net Effect Negative
It was a foolish act by someone who should know better. All that negativity ultimately didn’t result in feeling better, but likely in feeling worse.
Did the negative contact with the team get them to think less of me? Not a chance — rather, it made them think less of that person.
While I would never go out of my way to harm that person — even after the ugliness — I would also do nothing to help them with anything.
I was, and would have been, in a position to help them grow in so many ways. I was even eager to do so. I knew it would hurt. I didn’t want to hurt them, but it was a prudent business decision. Now I will avoid contact, avoid helping.
You simply never know when that person who fired you, who stopped doing business with you, will be in a position to help. Burning bridges is always a horrible idea.
