This a story about creating memories for residents and their family. It asks the question what are you doing to create memories?
The news reports of the anniversary of D Day a couple of weeks ago brought back some personal memories. Some 25 years ago I helped to open the Assisted Living unit at Air Force Village West in Riverside, California. A military “brat” myself, I loved the experience, especially the almost daily discovery of long-lost compatriots who had served together years before. One of my residents in the ALU had served in WWII as an enlisted man and had come home to build a very successful business, then run by his son. My resident was fairly independent, but had significant heart problems. One day the son came into my office and laid an invitation on my desk. “I don’t know what to do about this,” he said. “My dad’s unit is having a reunion in Paris this D Day anniversary and he wants to go. I’m terrified that he will die there or on the way.” I looked across the desk at him and replied, “So, he dies in Paris instead of here? How is that a problem?” They flew to Paris on the Concorde, stayed at the luxurious George V hotel and completely enjoyed the reunion. The son later told me that it was the best decision he had ever made. This last weekend we were privileged to host a reunion between my husband’s mother, who turned 81 on June 1, and her closest cousin Phyllis, who turned 80 on June 6. This reunion was possible because Phyllis’s son and his wife went to the trouble to bring her across the country for her 80th birthday. The two cousins spent the afternoon sharing photos and memories. We saw them together in their 8th grade graduation photo and many other special moments with people mostly now gone. A friend of ours, whose father was best man at my mother-in-law’s wedding, came by to share memories. As we all said goodbye the unspoken, bittersweet message was that these two women would almost certainly never see each other again, at least not in this life. But the day was a wonderful, unique reunion to be treasured and valued. As a side benefit, my husband and I met some cousins who, we found, share many interests and experiences with us. How can we translate that into our work with residents?
- Be bold! Call a family night just that: “Be Bold. What would you do with your loved one if nothing else mattered?”
- Help facilitate reunions. Host them if you can.
- Make plans for outings residents and their families would not even think of.
- Organize Skype visits with geographically distant relatives and friends, with shared photo albums.
What are you doing to facilitate these kinds of experiences?
Pat, thank you so much for this post! This is exactly why I’ve come to look forward to visiting Senior Housing Forum with my coffee each morning! In the Senior Living community there is often talk of “enhancing residents’ quality of life” but the phrase remains ambiguous and has become overused to the point of almost being meaningless……but the idea of a facility helping to “create memories” is inspiring! This is exactly the change in perspective that could really make a difference in how facilities approach their promise to “enhance the quality of life” for their residents!
My example is more of recalling than creating a memory but it remains a highlight of my recent experience in long-term care. The facility where I work hosted a “wedding reception” with decorations, appetizers and punch. The residents all gathered and anxiously awaited the start of the music and the grand entrance of the nursing and activities staff who were dressed in their wedding gowns, bridesmaids dresses and even a flower girl was in attendance. The staff visited with the residents as they recalled their own wedding memories. The smiles lasted all day long!
From LinkedIn Groups
Steve – thanks for posting – I love this idea – it’s meaningful and completely do-able and translates to quality of life for everyone involved!!!!
By Cheryl Guenther
From LinkedIn Groups
I love the idea of skype for some of our long distance families. We actually have what we call memory boxes. Simple photo boxes that we’ve asked our residents families to fill with memorabilia that the resident would recognize upon opening to give them a chance to reminisce and tell stories about each article. The box may contain items such as photo’s, knick knacks that the resident may have collected at some point, postcards about a trip they may have been on, so many possibilities. Our residents love to reminisce. Scrap booking is also something we do with our residents as we take lots of pictures during our activities and social events.
By Tracy Billingsley
From LinkedIn Groups
One of our activities staff takes a camera with her on every outing. She has the pictures developed and puts them along with a caption in a photo book. The book is left out for residents, families and staff to look at whenever they want. Right now we are using this in the Memory Support area, but plan to expand it to other areas soon.
Dianne Uhlenhake,
Otterbein Senior Lifestyle Choices St. Marys Ohio
By Dianne Uhlenhake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc8UQ9EhQaI This is the web address where you’ll find a short 5-minute film about a friend of ours who created a 1950s coloring book. She found that while coloring in it, the seniors and elderly enjoyed sharing their memories, sparked by the pictures in the Coloring Book. This film is part of our FREE Senior Health Video Series on http://TaiChiHealthProducts.org You’ll find other senior info there. In Peace, Don Fiore
This is wonderful Don. Thank you for sharing these resources!